Written by Jason Montoya. Posted in Community.

I Could Be Wrong... You May Be Right

I could be wrong. I could be missing something. My perspective could be distorted.

I invite my community to correct me while sharing why I'm wrong and what I'm missing. Bring your perspective to me because I value the truth and I want to get it right. What I would ask of those who do so, is to do it responsibly. Calling me names or just telling me I should believe this other thing you believe, won't work.

You have to understand where I'm coming from and then make your argument. If you demonstrate an argument to me that is different or it shows where mine is flawed, I will eat that up and I will improve.

And that's where accountability and community come into play and why it's so important for all of us.

We can be confident and strong in our point of view and be closed-minded but we could also be strong and confident and be open-minded. I take the second approach and embrace good-faith conversations. When we're in a bad faith conversation there's not a lot we can do and I usually keep that door cracked open a little more open than most because I always have that faith in Redemption; this time, that person who is always bad faith may become a good faith conversationalist.

Unexpected Sources of Truth

My Glass Box approach is to Effectively Test the Untrustworthy and Wisely Probe Trusted Authority (Including Yourself). Sometimes, the truth comes from unexpected places. Malcolm Gladwell's book Talking with Strangers (affiliate link) discusses this idea, calling it the Amanda Knox effect.

"...when Monica finally breaks the news to her brother Ross about her relationship, she takes Ross’s hand and says, “I’m so sorry that you had to find out this way. I’m sorry. But it’s true, I love him too.” We believe her in that moment—that she is genuinely sorry and genuinely in love, because she’s perfectly matched. She’s being sincere and she looks sincere.

When a liar acts like an honest person, though, or when an honest person acts like a liar, we’re flummoxed. Nervous Nelly is mismatched. She looks like she’s lying, but she’s not. She’s just nervous! In other words, human beings are not bad lie detectors. We are bad lie detectors in those situations when the person we’re judging is mismatched." - Malcom Gladwell, Talking With Strangers

Truth can come from even the most surprising places and people. It can often be masked by things that may seem like the opposite of what one would expect (yelling at you or holding you accountable).

In hostile situations with friends and family, we have the opportunity to not be offended by their attacks and hear what they are saying underneath it. If it's someone we care deeply about, we'll put in the effort to go deeper and get to what's underneath the emotional outbursts and hurtful statements.

Some Tips On Participating in Good Faith Conversations

I want good-faith conversations with others. I want others to participate in our conversations in a good-faith way.

Since I aim to tell the truth and practice what I preach, if there is an instance where I'm falling short of the truth and what I preach, anyone who knows me is welcome to correct me. What I ask is that they do so responsibly and respectfully.

If you are online and engaging with me irresponsibly and disrespectfully, I'm likely to ignore you. Respond with why it's important to you and relevant to me. If I'm talking about one thing, and you want to talk about something else, demonstrate why it's relevant to the main thing and to me.

Stick to the core point, and make your strongest argument or counter-argument on that basis.

You May Be Right

I certainly don't have all of this figured out myself, but this is my aim and you are welcome to join me in this endeavor. And while I may be wrong, you may be right. So, I'll leave you with this Billy Joel music video — hat tip to Scott.